Adventures in Babysitting

As a parent of an (almost) eight week old, my life has changed drastically since the birth of my little bean. The greatest adjustment is yet to come. I, unfortunately, will be returning to the workforce in five short weeks. I'll be a full time employee and a full time mama. I think I'm going to be in shell shock since I've been out of work for about 9 and a half weeks now. My company offers a great maternity program and I was fortunate enough to receive twelve weeks of paid leave. I also have an option to take an additional fourteen weeks unpaid.

However...

If we're being honest with each other, I don't think I could be a stay at home mama. I think I'd lose my marbles (what's left of them anyway). Yes, I am envious of those of you who get to spend all your time with your pumpkins, and I'm petrified that I am going to miss one of those milestones. Master P missed her first smile since he was at work. Luckily, I had my camera phone close by and was able to capture the moment. But what if her first words spew out while at daycare? Or she takes her first steps and I miss it? Thinking about it breaks my heart.

I think the hardest part of the process is entrusting her to take care of her like I do for forty hours a week. I've been away from JBean once for more than an hour an my sister in law was watching her. We were gone about 4 and a half hours, and I texted her about five times. Bear in mind JBean was asleep the entire time we were out.

I have put choosing a daycare off for so long, that I'm due back to work in less than 5 weeks and haven't made a final decision. Fortunately, we have an appointment to meet an 'in home' care on Thursday. Keep your fingers crossed. They come highly recommended from a friend of the family and their daughter has been going there since she was an infant (she'll be five in a few weeks).

How many of you are stay at home mama's? How long did you have before you went back to work? If your child is in daycare, how did you decide on a facility/care giver?

I vote for everyone brainstorming of ways for me to stay home - even if I will lose my mind.