You're really letting yourself go lately...

As we all know, men can be stupid sometimes. Sorry guys, but it's true. You don't always think before you speak and can be a bunch of ra-tards.




















As I was sitting on the couch with JBean the other night, Master P uttered those dreadful words. "You're really letting yourself go lately".

My first reaction was to jump up and knock the every living shit out of him. After giving him the look of death, he elaborated for me.

...And I (even though I'll never tell him this) decided he's right.

The reasons he sited are as follows:
1: "Your hair has been super frizzy lately". Well I have to say, I one up a lot of new mom's that I know, where I shower daily, in the morning. So many people told me I wouldn't have time for a shower after JBean arrived, but that isn't acceptable to me. I need to feel squeaky clean. Now, where I may be able to shower, I don't always have time to blow dry my hair... hence it being frizz-alicious. (If you know anything about New England summers, you know that it gets ridiculously humid... to the point where you break a sweat running outside to get the mail. Dislike).

2: "Your feet aren't looking as cute as they used to". Le sigh. Before being pregnant, and all throughout my pregnancy, I got a pedi every two to three weeks. Eight weeks post-partum, and I haven't had one since my due date (which was May 18... JBean didn't show up until the 27th). Now don't get me wrong, my toe nails don't look like this lady's; but they aren't perfectly painted either.
















3. "You haven't been wearing much make up". Yeah, cuz JBean and the cat really care if I have eyeliner on. Ridiculous.















Anyway, I guess the point of this, is I don't have as much time as I used to -- and maybe I'm not as cute as I was before JBean but I think she makes up for my lack of cuteness. :)

My Kid Likes to Screw With Me

I wish I was kidding.

I'm legit screwed. I'm scared to see what the terrible twos bring us.

Jillybean is only 7 weeks old and she's already screwing with us.

After cleaning an especially shitastic diaper one day, and getting pooped on (she literally pooped on me... like projectile poop... on me, her, her changing table, even the stupid container the wipes are held in), it was time for another diaper change. This was around the time we switched JBean from the Enfamil Premium to the Enfamil Gentlease... so needless to say, things were extra poopy and messy. Fast forward ten hours when it's time to change another diaper. Since I like to talk to Jillybean like she's going to answer me, I asked her if she was going to poop on me again. Her response: Her first friggin smile.

I really wish I was joking. She apparently thought it was hilarious to poop all over mommy... at 5:30 in the morning. Of course, P was fast asleep in the next room... despite my yelling for help.

Another example of the alleged screwing around...

9 out of 10 times (always when we're running late) when I get Jillybean in her carseat (which, lets face it... it's no easy task), she decides that she has to poop RIGHT NOW. How do I know this you ask? My little darling has what they like to call Grunting Baby Syndrome. I really wish I was kidding. I think this also needs to be on the list of things they tell you, since I thought my kid was having an exorcist moment of some sorts the first it happens. And we're not talking one grunt/push/minute and she's done... this little game goes on for, oh, half hour or so. Making me perpetually late. (It's especially a good time when she pees on me while changing the poopy diaper).

Oh the joys.

Update: 8:56 AM: She's doing it now!!! It's like she knew I was talking about it. Uggggh.