My Kid Likes to Screw With Me

I wish I was kidding.

I'm legit screwed. I'm scared to see what the terrible twos bring us.

Jillybean is only 7 weeks old and she's already screwing with us.

After cleaning an especially shitastic diaper one day, and getting pooped on (she literally pooped on me... like projectile poop... on me, her, her changing table, even the stupid container the wipes are held in), it was time for another diaper change. This was around the time we switched JBean from the Enfamil Premium to the Enfamil Gentlease... so needless to say, things were extra poopy and messy. Fast forward ten hours when it's time to change another diaper. Since I like to talk to Jillybean like she's going to answer me, I asked her if she was going to poop on me again. Her response: Her first friggin smile.

I really wish I was joking. She apparently thought it was hilarious to poop all over mommy... at 5:30 in the morning. Of course, P was fast asleep in the next room... despite my yelling for help.

Another example of the alleged screwing around...

9 out of 10 times (always when we're running late) when I get Jillybean in her carseat (which, lets face it... it's no easy task), she decides that she has to poop RIGHT NOW. How do I know this you ask? My little darling has what they like to call Grunting Baby Syndrome. I really wish I was kidding. I think this also needs to be on the list of things they tell you, since I thought my kid was having an exorcist moment of some sorts the first it happens. And we're not talking one grunt/push/minute and she's done... this little game goes on for, oh, half hour or so. Making me perpetually late. (It's especially a good time when she pees on me while changing the poopy diaper).

Oh the joys.

Update: 8:56 AM: She's doing it now!!! It's like she knew I was talking about it. Uggggh.